


you'll always paint my sky

by Moonlightkitten



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Anachronistic, F/F, Fluff, Regency Romance, Sort Of, it's a high-scoring game, let's play 'count the anachronisms', no homophobia yay, non-traditional format, told through a series of letters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-03
Updated: 2018-12-03
Packaged: 2019-09-06 00:27:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,645
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16821484
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Moonlightkitten/pseuds/Moonlightkitten
Summary: It's 1810, and Melody Pond, rising debutante and undercover agent, meets the brilliant and ridiculous Jane Smith at a ball in London. Along with the help of Rory, who still has a sword, and Clara, who's trying desperately to marry her sister off, Melody courts Jane through a series of love letters.





	you'll always paint my sky

**Author's Note:**

> Man, I can't leave this pairing alone, it seems. Title is a Hayley Kiyoko lyric, because of course it is. 
> 
> By the way, if you're confused, you should probably read the tags. Might clear a few things up.

June 1, 1810

Miss Smith,

I hope you do not mind that I have taken the liberty of writing you, for, though we have only met once at Vastra's ball, it feels as though I’ve known you all of my life. I hope that this letter finds you in good health. 

I apologize if I across as forward, since, apparently, it is not entirely traditional for women to court each other without a parent's formal introduction. Honestly, I think that’s just ridiculous, don’t you? Besides, my parents did encourage me to write you. I think you’d like Mum and Dad. 

Speaking of which, Mum invited you to supper next Friday. Really, however, I doubt she would care when you come. You’re welcome here any day of the week. Actually, let me rephrase that statement: you’re welcome any day so long as you don’t wear that hideous so-called “coat” again. And you  _ know  _ what I’m referring to. Watch out, because if I see it again, I shall destroy it forever. 

Warmest regards, 

Melody Pond. 

P.S. Attached is a message from my father. Please, take no offense. 

_ Jane Smith,  _

_ While you have my permission to court my daughter, be aware that I have a sword and no hesitancies about using it. You have been warned.  _

_ -Roranicus Pond _

***

June 3, 1810 (Well, that’s when I wrote it. You’ll probably receive it later.)

Miss Melody, 

Jane here! May I use your first name? It’s lovely, really. It may be the prettiest name I’ve ever heard. Actually, it’s the third prettiest, after Romana and Yasmin. No, sorry, it’s prettier than Romana. Never mind, it’s the second prettiest name I’ve ever heard. 

I would be delighted to join you for supper next Friday, but  _ please  _ tell your father not to use his sword. I’ll try not to offend him or anything, because, frankly, he sounds terrifying. 

O h, sorry, I forgot to ask about your health. How are you? I should have started my letter with that, shouldn't I? I am a bit rubbish at writing letters. I prefer writing equations. Do you like arithmetic, Melody? 

Melody, Melody, Melody, Melody. I enjoy writing your name. Melody, Melody.

My sister Clara just told me I shouldn’t write your name over and over like that, so I shall stop. Clara is odd. Her nose is all funny and small. I like your nose- it has a little bump on the bridge.    
Speaking of bridges, did you know that there is talk of replacing London Bridge with a new bridge? Well, rebuilding it, really, but improving it along the way. If they do that, it will probably cause a lot of traffic. At least we can still go on foot. Imagine what would happen if all of the bridges in Amsterdam or  V enice closed. People would be forced to swim across the canals. Well, actually, they would probably just use a gondola. But what if all of the gondolas were

_ Dear Melody,  _

_ I apologize for my sister’s poor attempt at writing. Honestly, I wish she would just act like a normal human being. I’ve stolen her pen from her and I am writing this as she looks for another one. Oh! Here she comes. I should go. But just know, you have my permission to court her. And, honestly, I would be  so  grateful if you married her so I wouldn’t have to listen to her incessant babbling. Anyway, I wish you the best.  _

_ Warmly, _

_ Clara Oswin Oswald Smith _

Sorry about that. Clara stole my pen. And, for the record, I do  _ not  _ want to marry you, no matter what Clara 

_ Oh, she so wants to marry you. _

Shut up, Clara! Sorry, she keeps trying to write on this letter, even though I tell her it’s rude. I mean, honestly, have you ever 

Ouch! She’s hitting me across the head with a frying--

Sorry, I should go. 

Sincerely, 

Jane Smith

_ P.S. I can’t believe she’s actually going to send this letter. What an idiot.  _

  
***

June 5, 1810

Jane, you ridiculous woman, 

You had better show up on Friday or else I’ll march over to your house and snog the living daylights out of you. Tell Clara I admire her for being able to put up with you for so long. 

Melody

_ Jane,  _

_ Don’t listen to my daughter. There will be no snogging involved for a very long time. Remember, I have a sword. _

_ -Rory Pond _

**Jane,**

**Ignore my husband. He’s just being a hypocrite; he snogged me the second he got the chance. And you had better come to supper on Friday. Melody tells me that you have a strange relationship with food. I’m warning you now, I won’t be cooking any ‘fish fingers or custard creams or fried egg sandwiches or whatever it is you eat. You’ll eat my food, or you’ll go hungry, raggedy girl.**

**-Amelia Pond**

***  
  


June 8, 1810

Melody, 

Jane turned every shade of red in existence when she read your letter. She’s still having trouble speaking coherently, so I thought I’d be the one to reply. 

Anyhow, you have my absolute permission to snog my sister. Perhaps that will shut her up for a few minutes. Besides, she hasn’t snogged anyone in  _ ages-  _ it would do her good. 

Warmly, 

Clara

  
***

June 12, 1810

Clara,

Tell your sister that I enjoyed dinner very much and that I’ll definitely snog her next time. She has the most gorgeous legs… Speaking of which, Mum wants her over for supper next Friday, too. Actually, I do believe she plans to have her over every Friday. If you like, you’re invited as well. 

Melody

_ Clara, _

_ Tell your sister that my daughter will  not  be snogging her.. I look forward to seeing you next week.  _

_ -Rory Pond _

***

June 14, 1810

Dear Melody, 

Hiya, Jane again! I think that the letter that Clara read to me was a highly edited version, but she still won’t let me see the original. She told me that if I did, I would be too embarrassed to write you back. Isn’t that ridiculous? Why would I be  _ embarrassed?  _

Anyway, thank you for the dinner invitation for next Friday. I think I shall accept. (Clara made me write that. It sounds too formal, don’t you think?)

You know, your hair is a bit like time-- all kinky and flowy and curly. Does that make sense? I’ve always thought that time is not linear, but rather a big jumble of events and thoughts and ideas and their relationships with each other-- a web, if you like. Not that your hair looks like a web. It’s decidedly un-web-like. Unless you have spiders in it. I met some nasty large ones once with my mates Yaz, Graham, and Ryan. Actually,, you could probably keep lots of things in your hair-- it is enormous. I mean that in a good way, of course. Do people enjoy touching your hair? I think I would. It looks soft and fluffy, kind of like a

_ Mels,  _

_ I heard Jane talking to herself as she wrote and I had to stop that before it got too far. What she meant to say was that your hair is quite lovely and she’d love to bury her hands in it and kiss _

Oi! Do  _ not  _ listen to Clara! I don’t want to kiss you, I promise! Well, I mean, I suppose it would be rather nice but 

_ She’s being ridiculous. I don’t see why she won’t just work up her nerve and snog you. We both know she wants to. Honestly, if she  _

Argh! I’m sorry, Melody, Clara’s interfering again, as you can see. I keep telling her to

_ Ha! Don’t listen to her. The other day she wrote your name in her journal surrounded by hearts and _

She’s lying! I did  _ not  _ do that! That’s ridiculous! Why would I

_ See what I have to put up with? She  _

Ah! Clara’s beating me with her broom. AHH! I need to go Melod

_ Love and kisses,  _

_ Jane Smith  _

No! No! Ignore that bit! Clara wrote the ‘love and kisses’ part! Sorry, I know this letter is a bit of a mess but Clara has ruined my past 23 drafts and I’m getting tired of rewriting so I’m going to go ahead and send this anyway. 

_ Shameless, isn’t she? _

THAT WAS CLARA! SEE WHAT I MEAN?

***

June 18, 1810

Prime Minister Saxon,

I have recently become aware that Melody Pond, the Silence’s top-performing agent, is being courted by none other than Jane Smith. I’m sure you’re perfectly aware of the long and dangerous history of the Smith family interfering with Silence, INC. And I know that you’ve wanted to take down the Smiths for a long time; this could be your opportunity. Tasha Lem, head of covert operations, and myself request that you intercept and destroy all future romantic communications between them. In return, the Silence will ensure that you are reelected next term. 

Best Regards,

Kovarian

***

June 16, 1810

Sweetie,

Thank you for coming to dinner-- it was lovely. You know, you rather remind me of a puppy. It’s adorable. I shan’t let Father get his hands on this letter, so you won’t have to worry about any threatening postscripts. 

You know, your letter writing skills are really quite atrocious, a bit like your taste in hats. A red fez? Seriously? You’re lucky I destroyed it, because I think that you quite probably might have inadvertently killed someone with the sight of it.

The duke is hosting a ball next week, and if you don’t accompany me to it, I shall conspire with Clara to have all of your hats murdered. Oh, and do try not to embarrass me on the dance floor. 

Kisses, 

Melody

****

June 23, 1810

You idiot,

I may not have a sword like my husband, but as Melody's mother, you should fear me even more. How  _ dare  _ you treat my daughter like that! Do you know how long she cried after you didn’t show up at that stupid ball like you promised her? Exactly two minutes. That’s right. You made my daughter break her record for her longest crying jag. Now, why don’t you come right over here and I’ll give you a piece of my mind, you -------------------------  _ This is Rory. I agree wholeheartedly with my wife, but those words weren’t too civil, so I’ve crossed them out.  _

_ Looking forward to impaling you soon, _

_ Rory Williams _

***  
  


July 20, 1810

Hey Melody,

Why haven’t we seen you lot for a while? Jane has been feeling pretty gloomy lately (I’m sure it’s because of your absence.) Anyway, I’d appreciate it if you two would get married soon so I can have this house to myself. (By the way, I’ll only give you two my blessing if she moves in over there.) As far as I know, you haven’t even kissed, so you should probably start speeding things up. 

Love from your future sister,

Clara

***

July 31, 1810

Dear Clara,

Tell Jane that I understand her feelings toward me and that I’ll be fine.    
Melody

***

August 14th, 1810

Melody,

I told her! Yay! Can I help you plan the wedding? Have you decided on a dress yet? You should be nontraditional and go with a blue one. It would look really adorable on you. Kind of a deep blue, like Jane’s ridiculous carriage that she calls the TARDIS. Actually, we could repaint that and have you two drive to the reception in it. If you do want to have a wedding reception. (You should, by the way.)

Let me know! One of the boys that I teach has a father who works in the dressmaking business. I bet we could get you a discount. 

God, I'm so looking forward to having the house to myself. 

  
Clara

September 1st, 1810

Melody,

Hey! Did your reply get lost in the mail?

Clara

October 12th, 1810

Melody,

Hi…. So I guess I won’t be helping to plan the wedding? That’s fine by me. Can I at least do something to help, though? I haven’t heard from you in so long! Are you okay? Jane won’t even talk to me about you. She’s probably just embarrassed by all the secret making out that’s happening.    
Right?

Clara

November 3rd, 1810

Melody,

Are you alive?

Clara

***

December 13th, 1810

Dear Melody,

It’’s Jane. Remember me? I don’t know what I did wrong, exactly. I know that you’re upset with me for some reason. I just wanted to say that if you would like, well, and, you know, if you’re hungry, and Amy doesn’t want to cook, and you fancy a drive in the snow, you could-- well, what I mean is that Clara would like you to come to dinner over here sometime. It’s all Clara’s idea. Oh, and speaking of ideas, Clara can’t figure out this equation that I attached below. I know that it’s in my handwriting, but she’s the one who can’t figure it out. It’s definitely not me. I know you like math, so would you check it for her? 

Jane. 

***

January 1, 1811

Dear Jane, 

Honey, I understand that you don’t want to see me. Harry Saxon, the prime minister himself, told me as much at our last strategy meeting. It’s quite alright. There’s no need to pity me and invite me to dinner. After all, I haven’t seen you in months. It’s better if we just let it taper off this way. 

Melody. 

P.S. Have you ever even heard of Cramer’s Rule of Second Order Determinants? Or did you just choose to ignore it and throw a bunch of numbers in a matrix?

***

January 10th, 1811

Melody,

Hey, remember me? I’m Nardy. I used to work in your taskforce at the Silence but got fired for incompetence? Anyway, once a wingman, always a wingman, you know what I mean? We secret agents gotta look out for each other. So when I heard that some chick broke your heart, I went over there with Bill to kick her arse, but turns out she’s really upset about you too. I swear, she’s absolutely  _ heartbroken _ . So I’m all like, chica, why’d you break up with her then? Anyway, she seems to honestly believe that  _ you  _ broke  _ her  _ heart. She’s totally in love with you. Now obviously, there’s a communication problem going on here. I filched a key to the SIlence Record Room before I was fired, just in case there was anything shady going on that I needed to expose. Bill and I went in there and we found several of your letters to Jane locked up in a filing cabinet, including one inviting her to a ball? It seems that Kovarian’s been intercepting some of your mail. Hope that clears things up. 

Peace out, 

Nardole (code name Secret-Badass) 

***

January 11, 1811

Jane, 

I’m having my friend Nardole hand-deliver this note. Hopefully it reaches you this time. 

Darling, I know that you might have heard some rumors from Kovarian, or misinterpreted something one of my parents told you. Please know that whatever you've heard is the furthest from the truth. I’m sorry if I ever caused you any pain, sweetie. I love you-- of course I do, you ridiculous woman. I can’t believe that Kovarian managed to convince you otherwise. 

And to more pressing matters: you may know that I work for the British army. To be frank with you, I am actually part of their secret task force, known as the Silence. I know that I can trust you, but please don’t repeat this information to anyone. The prime minister has apparently deemed that you are a ‘distraction’ from my work, and to distance us, he is deploying me to India next fortnight, for at least a year. I’d like to see you again before I go. 

If your invitation to dinner still stands, I’ll be there this Friday. 

Love always, 

Melody

***

January 15, 1811

Missy,

Hey, so I know you’ve sort of got a love-hate relationship with my sister, but she really needs your help right now. Don’t worry, it involves blowing things up and death; right up your alley. I’ve attached my basic plan to this letter. I  _ know  _ you’re in. 

Clara

P.S. If everything works out, John’ll be married to Melody soon. I hate you and  _ definitely  _ don’t want you moving in with me if that happens. 

***

January 17, 1811

Poppet,

I’ll consider moving in with you, but only if you hire a piano mover. I will not pay for one, and I certainly shall not be carrying my baby grand over to your house with sheer brute strength. As for the other bit, I’m already sharpening my stick...

Missy

***

January 23th, 1810

Dear Melody,

I love you. I thought I ought to tell you that before you leave, and, well, my mind was a bit jumbled by all the snogging at dinner Friday. I don’t see why you have to leave. It’s not at all fair! And I’m sorry for the misunderstandings and everything, and I, well, I don’t know. I just wish you wouldn’t go. Please don’t go, Melody. I’ll come with you to India, if you like. I’d follow you to the ends of the universe, if I had to. 

Jane Smith

_ P.S. Hey, Clara here! My sister has no idea I added this postscript. Oh, well. Anyway, how are you? There’s really no easy way to lead into this, so I’ll just go ahead and say it: I need you to fake your own death. More details forthcoming in a later letter, in case this one is intercepted. Hopefully not, as I’m hand delivering it to prevent that. Actually, we can chat at your house. Give my best to your parents.  _

***

January 25th, 1810

Miss Oswald-Smith, 

I heard about your secret plan. Let me help out; I have a sword. 

-Rory Pond

***

January 30, 1811

Sweetie, 

Not sure if you’ve heard about your sister’s half-baked plan to fake my death in the hopes of freeing me from the crushing confines of the Silence. That’s how she puts it, anyhow. Bit of a literary romantic, that one.

Either way, I’ve got a new name and a new passport. I’d be surprised if the Silence could find me now. Where would you like to go? I was thinking Paris, or America, maybe. As soon as Clara and Missy finalize their plans, we can leave. Travel anywhere we like. 

I love you too, darling. Always and completely. 

River Song

***

January 31th, 1810

Melody,

Let’s go to New York City. I think your parents would like it there. Also, I love you. Did I mention that before? Well, I do.

Love (just in case once wasn’t enough), 

Jane

***

February 1, 1811

Sweetie,

New York City it is, then. Amy and Rory will be so thrilled. I can’t wait until this whole ordeal is over and we can truly be together. 

XOXO

P.S. I’m River now, darling. How’s a girl supposed to protect her secret identity? 

***

February 17, 1811

Madame Kovarian,

You irresponsible fool! How in the hell did you let our country’s top operative and her whole family die in something as trivial as a house fire? How are we supposed to replace Melody Pond? Worse, Jane Smith is now nowhere to be found. We’re scouring the countryside. If Smith leaves the country, we’ll have no more jurisdiction over her. God, you’re such an idiot. 

Prime Minister Saxon

***

March 12th, 1811

Clara,

Well, it’s been a long road, but we’re finally here in the Big Apple! NOt sure why they call it that, especially considering that the city does not at all resemble an apple, and

_ It’s River. I’ve confiscated Jane’s quill again. You were right, she has no business writing a civilized letter. Anyway, I’m sure you’re dying to hear from us. Your plan worked amazingly, and Mum, Dad, Jane, and I have rented two apartments in Brooklyn. It’s a rather nice area, though I’m sure that Jane and I will be traveling. Thank you so much for your help in escaping from the Silence; I’m ever so grateful that _

Ha! I got the pen back! Anyway, I miss you loads, sis. That’s funny, I say ‘sis’ now. Sounds odd, sayin it out loud. River’s looking at me like I’m crazy. But point is, you and Missy should move out here with us. No point in staying in England now. I’m so glad everything worked out! Hey, tell Yaz that there’s tons of cute girls here. And the American air is supposed to be good for your health-- Graham should come too, it’d help his cancer loads, I reckon. Plus, Grace and Ryan would have plenty of fun. I’m so grateful for all your help! Gods, I love River more than you could possibly imagine- ha, she’s going all heart-eyed now, that’s adorable. And I think-- okay, I have to go, she’s trying to snog me again. 

Love,

Jane  _ and River _

***

Dear Nardole,

I thought, after all you’ve done for me and Jane, you might like to come to our wedding. It’ll be held the 22nd of April. We’re riding out to Utah-- Jane always wanted to see it, you know, and it’s supposed to be gorgeous. And another thing: after the wedding, we’re going traveling for a few years, maybe. See the world, you know? And seeing as Jane’s always making new friends and picking up strays and such, I think we ought to have a few traveling companions. We thought you might like to come along. Mind, Jane’s not too keen on it, but I promised we could bring Bill and Clara, as well as the rest of her ‘fam’, as she puts it. 

See you soon,

River

P.S. Bring lots of warm clothing. Our first stop is Greenland; Jane’s convinced that Santa Claus lives up there somewhere. Bless. 

  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Wowee I should be writing an English essay right now. R.I.P. me. If you're wondering where my other in-progress 13/River fic is, since everyone keeps asking about it, uh, oooooops I wrote this first? But the other one's still in progress.
> 
> Please feel free to yell at me in the comments! :D


End file.
